A Spirited Tour of Scary Ol’ England

For thrills and chills on Halloween, pack up your pumpkin and your Ghostbusters’ proton pack and check out this spirited trio of historic escapes.

York has been dubbed "Europe's most haunted city."

York has been dubbed Europe’s most haunted city.

There is a death match brewing between the English cities of Chester, Durham and York, the likes of which the (nether)world has never seen before. While most places try to tempt tourists by touting themselves as “lively” destinations, these three cities take pride in vying for the title of the most (un)dead.

The Ghost Research Foundation International once named York “Europe’s most haunted city,” but HauntedChester.com insists that Chester “can rightly and justly claim to be the most haunted city in England,” thanks to a series of turbulent and tragic events. (While “Chester: Famine, plague, war—and more!” is hardly the sort of tagline you’ll find on promotional t-shirts and bumper stickers, it would seem to serve as a veritable primordial soup for spooks).

A cross in Durham silhouetted by the sunset.

A cross in Durham silhouetted by the sunset.

But if you think Chester and York are swamped with specters, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet. According to ParanormalDatabase.com, Durham has been besieged by dozens of phantoms, including a Pekinese, flying pitchforks, an impregnating chair, and the, um, “limbless worm.” (Is there any other kind?)

Aside from being “limbless,” this critter is described as “a long, hostile worm which inhabited an oak wood, attacking man and beast,” much like the killer rabbit from “Monty Python and the Holy Grail.”

I only hope that my tour of Chester, Durham and York will finally allow the whole matter to, er, rest in peace.

A view of Chester's Eastgate Street.

A view of Chester’s Eastgate Street.

CHESTER

In Chester, which was founded 2,000 years ago by the Romans, poltergeists and ghouls are said to haunt everything from a chocolate shop to the Eastgate Clock.

Not surprisingly, however, most spectral activity centers around the pubs…perhaps because when you drink spirits, you’re more likely to see spirits, as well.

So, in the interest of research, I spend my first afternoon swallowing my fear, along with several pints of Guinness, at a trio of haunted pubs along Lower Bridge Street. At the Falcon, the Bear and Billet and Ye Olde Kings Head, glasses and bottles are said to fly off the shelves, as if tossed about by a butter-fingered bartender from the great beyond.

Ye Olde Kings Head Inn in Chester

Ye Olde Kings Head Inn

But despite these pubs’ admittedly spooky vibe, accentuated by ancient creaking timbers, the only phenomenon I notice is how quickly my glass seems to empty. However, I’m not dispirited (ahem), because tonight, I’m taking a tour tonight with ghostly guide Tom Jones.

“I never try to persuade people that there are such things as ghosts,” says Tom Jones, who certainly looks the part, with his stark white hair, black undertaker’s suit and a handshake so cold I’m tempted to take his pulse.

“What I am going to do is take you to places where strange and inexplicable things are known to happen.”

St John the Baptist ruins in Chester.

St John the Baptist ruins in Chester.

One of the spookiest sites in Chester is the Church of St. John the Baptist, much of which lies in ruins. In the dim glow of a streetlamp beside the church, Jones recounts an incident that occurred here one autumn evening in 1982.

“A man saw a black swirling mist which passed right through him,” Jones intones. “He felt two sensations. First, a cold deep inside his body. Second was a feeling of most unspeakable evil which touched his very soul.”

Fortunately these “smoke ghosts,” which Jones speculates may be “a concentration of centuries of misfortune, tragedies and evil,” are very rare.

Unfortunately, “for those who find themselves in an area where a smoke ghost appeared, there is a sort of latching effect, almost like an infection,” he warns us. “Days, weeks, years later, when you enter the safety of your own home, waiting for you in the shadows may be the smoke ghost. If that happens,” Jones pauses dramatically, “exorcism is the only answer.” At that exact moment, the electric street lamp is extinguished.

DURHAM

After this chill-inducing encounter, I decamp to Durham, which, in addition to the aforementioned worms and Pekinese, is apparently inhabited by several “Gray Ladies” (and I don’t mean the old dears down at the bingo hall).

Gray Lady number one haunts the imposing 11th century castle that looms over the city from its hilltop perch near the Cathedral.

Durham Castle.

Durham Castle.

The former Bishop’s wife fell down an oak staircase here and now supposedly floats between floors, although when I tour the castle, which today serves as the world’s most luxurious student dorm, the only spirit in evidence is a bottle of whisky swigged by undergrads “studying” in a hallway.

Crook Hall haunted staircase

Crook Hall haunted staircase

Undeterred, I head to Crook Hall, a surprisingly cozy stone manor haunted by Gray Lady number two. This spirit, also known as the White Lady (thanks perhaps to a dousing of Banshee Bleach), seems stuck on a supernatural treadmill, gliding down a staircase in the Jacobean drawing room.

At the foot of the steps, school children have left notes for the ghost. “Dear White Lady, Please don’t haunt me. I’m only 6,” pleads a girl named Jenny. Jade, on the other hand, seems destined to be a detective. “How did you die? Who killed you? What is your real name?” she demands.

The Lady’s current roommates are Maggie and Keith Bell, who moved in nearly 20 years ago and opened the home for public tours.

“I think when you die, you die,” says Maggie, who readily admits that she doesn’t believe in ghosts. “Although,” she adds cryptically, “we have had some strange experiences.”

The Medieval Hall at Crook Hall

The Medieval Hall at Crook Hall

Maggie once saw a psychic have a “physical reaction” in the 13th century Medieval Hall. The psychic then revealed that a soldier had been killed and bricked up in the corner. Later, as caterers were setting up for a wedding reception in hall, Maggie heard a blood-curdling scream. “One of the women said she had been leaning in the corner, and a man (presumably the soldier) put his icy cold hand on her back,” she recalls.

Maggie Bell of Crook Hall

Maggie Bell of Crook Hall

Her most hair-raising anecdote is about something her husband heard as they lay in bed one night. “I was asleep, and Keith became aware of a dragging sound in the Minstrel’s Gallery. At the door to the bedroom, the sound stopped. Then he heard footsteps going upstairs, where there are no stairs, and walking across the ceiling. There used to be a room there, but someone has blocked up the window and taken off the stairs.”

Looking at the sealed-off window from the garden below, I feel a chill and wonder who—or what—might have been bricked up in the attic.

These are the thoughts I take with me to Lumley Castle, a 600-year-old fortress complete with turrets, a trapdoor and an erstwhile dungeon.

Courtesy Lumley Castle

Courtesy Lumley Castle

The castle has been transformed into a tasseled and tufted hotel on the outskirts of Durham, but amid the swags of velvet and plump sofas lurks “Lily of Lumley.”

When Lily refused to convert to Catholicism in the 14th century, the lovely Lily was allegedly murdered by priests and thrown down a well, which is now enshrined under glass in the center of a hallway. Staff members have reported seeing flying lampshades, hearing the rustle of silk and taffeta on the stairs, and finding costumes flung about a locked dressing room.

Andy Auster of the Ghost Hunt of York

Andy Auster of the Ghost Hunt of York

YORK

The next day, I happily leave Durham’s undead behind me and head to York. “The Ghost Hunt of York,” led by Andy Auster clad in a top hat and cloak, serves as a rib-achingly hilarious introduction to this ancient Roman city’s afterlife.

“Some of you will scream, some of you will laugh, and YOU,” Auster points to a tall man at the back of the crowd, ”will wet yourself.”

As Auster leads us through the streets, he pauses before various landmarks to relate York’s most notorious ghost stories, including the legend of a Roman legion that emerged from a wall in the Treasurer’s House.

To demonstrate the horn blast that preceded the soldiers, Auster asks the tall man to blow upon a tiny trumpet. “Do you have any communicable diseases, sir?” Auster asks afterwards, examining the instrument with a look of distaste. “Well,” he adds in a tone that’s dry as a bone, “now you do.”

A visitor to the Treasurer's House uses an ELF meter to check for magnetic fields, which could indicate an otherworldly presence.

A visitor to the Treasurer’s House uses an ELF meter to check for magnetic fields, which could indicate a spectral presence.

For a more serious investigation of York’s most famous ghost story—that of the Roman legion—I don a hard hat and follow a guide into the basement of the Treasurer’s House, now a museum. We descend a ramp that leads to a wooden platform erected atop the remains of an old Roman road. It was here, in 1953, that Harry Martindale, an 18-year-old apprentice heating engineer, encountered spectral troops emerging from a wall as he attempted to install a radiator.

“If anyone else had told me this story, I’d have said rubbish,” Martindale has admitted. “But I tell everyone, I don’t care whether you believe me or not. It’s something you couldn’t make up.”

Personally, I’m reserving judgment on the otherworldly until the day I come home and find a smoke ghost waiting for me. Better that, anyway, than a limbless worm.

At Crook Hall in Durham, it's best to keep any complaints to yourself.

At Crook Hall in Durham, it’s best to keep any complaints to yourself.

TOURISM INFO:

www.visitbritain.com, www.visitengland.com, www.visitchester.com, www.thisisdurham.com, www.visityork.orgwww.heritagecities.com

WHAT TO DO:

Chester ghosts tours: www.chesterguidedtours.com

Crook Hall & Gardens, www.crookhallgardens.co.uk

York Ghost hunt: www.ghosthunt.co.uk

Treasurer’s House: www.nationaltrust.org.uk/main/w-treasurershouseyork

WHERE TO STAY:

The Chester Grosvenor and Spa, Chester, www.chestergrosvenor.com

Lumley Castle, County Durham, www.lumleycastle.com

Best Western Dean Court Hotel, York, www.bestwestern.co.uk

3 Comments

  1. […] yourself to London. For more terrifying tours, here’s a story about my adventures in the most haunted cities in England. Just beware. You might be sleeping with the light on […]

  2. Rob Marks says:

    Visit us on the Ghost Walk of the Lanes in Brighton

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